Sometimes progress looks like a pie chart. But rarely.
A Holiday Hell Whole
On the severely sloped scale of abject misery, second only to being wedged into and appropriately enraged by holiday shopping mall traffic is subjecting yourself to holiday… Read more “A Holiday Hell Whole”
Cold-Filtered Fitness
Have you ever attempted to use a stair stepper while moderately intoxicated? The answer to that question may seem obvious to some, but I exercise under some unique… Read more “Cold-Filtered Fitness”
Who You Can Count On Not Being Able To Count On
Breakups are terrible. No one is immune to the resulting devastation, unless you’re a sociopath—something I have found myself aspiring to be over the last few months. (I… Read more “Who You Can Count On Not Being Able To Count On”
Meditation for the Less Mindful
Mindfulness Meditation is all the rage these days. In fact, it’s almost like the new road rage. There is a lot about mindfulness as a concept that… Read more “Meditation for the Less Mindful”
A Benjamin Button Birthday
I celebrated my 26th birthday recently. Hold the applause, and that’s a lie anyway. It seemed entirely appropriate that I woke up on my birthday with a zit… Read more “A Benjamin Button Birthday”
indignation, resignation, celebration!
I’ve spent the last five months drafting resignation letters in the cold, dark solitude of the closet that I call my man cave. Here are a few of… Read more “indignation, resignation, celebration!”
stigmatic. stupid. stitches.
Jesus gave up on me long ago, and that’s only if—big if—he even had an interest in me after I defecated all over the doctor who delivered… Read more “stigmatic. stupid. stitches.”
Dear Sirs:
The only thing I hate more than working is looking for another place to work. I’m not 15 anymore, so my standards for employment are a bit… Read more “Dear Sirs:”
Now call it a comeback.
Guess who’s back! Fortunately it’s not Eminem despite MTV and local radio protests to the contrary. Much like the Razor Scooter on college campuses across the country, I… Read more “Now call it a comeback.”
Cats In Your Pants 